What he thinks of himself for after delivery? I did. I thought it was a failure as a mother. This only makes depression worse. I was already in hell, and I was falling further into an abyss. I became depressed desperate and depressed. I could not be better. I thought if I had to change a diaper more I drive over a cliff.
One of the things I had to do was stop and I judge my progress. I would like to see other mothers around me and there are always less. I compare myself. Why could breastfeed and could not? How is it that seemed to handle sleep deprivation better than me?
What was wrong with me? There were days and days and days when I really hated being a mom. I loved my daughter, but this work of being a mother was horrible and I could never see myself "love the job." I was a mess! It seemed as if all my "mom" and loving friends were enjoying having a newborn EVEN. I was trying to "fake" who was "enjoying this phase," when in fact, I was hating every minute. But I could not get "right size" for my feelings. I could not let off the hook. Every day was painful. I was an emotional train wreck.
Seek treatment. Had he not, he could have left the deepest part (which was more or less not anyway) my marriage had failed and could have lost my daughter. Fortunately, none of these things happened. But the trip had to take to recover, give me a huge leap involved.
I am a survivor and knew it was coming "to the other side." It was a very long, arduous task, but the worst was behind me, but I did not know at that time. It really was "one day at a time," learning the difference between reality and fantasy. And part of that fantasy was that I was somehow a terrible mother, all the negative feelings of motherhood had only exacerbated my feelings trial.
In each session, my therapist help me recognize what was real and what was fantasy. She was very patient with me. It was as if I had to deny your point of view at a time, until I could pull it out and "wear" and realize that I was right. I started to put pieces back together myself. Something like Humpty Dumpty. I was a victim of an accident to learn to walk again.
Finally, learning how to not judge myself without mercy and give me a break, I had the opportunity to create new "ways of the brain" and started new belief systems. Over time, much of the drama and negative thinking began to recede. I acquired new tools for life and began to enjoy a mental health more and more as time passed.
Over time, I was able to look back and realize that I was not as hard as I judged. And I began to see that other moms fought too much and that motherhood is not really easy for everyone, every day of the week. Going through this process has not only made me a "better" mother, but personally, I am a better and happier, more content woman. I'm not the same person I was before, I am a better embodiment of the "girl" used to be.
What was wrong with me? There were days and days and days when I really hated being a mom. I loved my daughter, but this work of being a mother was horrible and I could never see myself "love the job." I was a mess! It seemed as if all my "mom" and loving friends were enjoying having a newborn EVEN. I was trying to "fake" who was "enjoying this phase," when in fact, I was hating every minute. But I could not get "right size" for my feelings. I could not let off the hook. Every day was painful. I was an emotional train wreck.
Seek treatment. Had he not, he could have left the deepest part (which was more or less not anyway) my marriage had failed and could have lost my daughter. Fortunately, none of these things happened. But the trip had to take to recover, give me a huge leap involved.
I am a survivor and knew it was coming "to the other side." It was a very long, arduous task, but the worst was behind me, but I did not know at that time. It really was "one day at a time," learning the difference between reality and fantasy. And part of that fantasy was that I was somehow a terrible mother, all the negative feelings of motherhood had only exacerbated my feelings trial.
In each session, my therapist help me recognize what was real and what was fantasy. She was very patient with me. It was as if I had to deny your point of view at a time, until I could pull it out and "wear" and realize that I was right. I started to put pieces back together myself. Something like Humpty Dumpty. I was a victim of an accident to learn to walk again.
Finally, learning how to not judge myself without mercy and give me a break, I had the opportunity to create new "ways of the brain" and started new belief systems. Over time, much of the drama and negative thinking began to recede. I acquired new tools for life and began to enjoy a mental health more and more as time passed.
